I hate how complicated life gets when you love people.
I don't just mean romantically.  I mean when you have that deep passion for making others happy, safe, and comfortable.  It just seems like this is so weird... so foreign nowadays that those of us who possess it are seen as weird.

I.  Love.  People.
I love society.  I live to make others happy... and if that includes changing myself, oh well!
Finding that not everyone has my mindset wasn't a surprise.  Finding that no one seems to understand it was.
Right now I've got quite possibly the most complicated relationship issues going on that I've ever had.  It all seems to be stemming from the way I view love.  I love everyone.  Everyone.  Anyone and everyone has a chance in my heart, because every single human has a little spot in it.
Is that really that weird?
Apparently.
Also, my medical problems are acting up again.  Really badly, sporadically.  It really sucks.

I've got a hell of a lot of writer's block right now.  I can't write anything.  I can't think about it.  All my energy right now is being drained trying to make everyone happy.  I am doing a good job with some... but I forgot my damn goal in the first place.
I'm supposed to figure out what I want out of life.  What makes me happy.  All I can seem to figure out is I really, REALLY like making others happy.  I like looking good for them, making them smile and laugh, and making them feel good about themselves.
I've lost track of what I want.
I'm really confused.
I just want to stop hurting people
and have everyone be happy.
Everyone.
Please.

~Kathy/MM